I am going to be 32 in a couple of days. I suppose it is inevitable that you reflect on how your life has gone. Why would you not take a convenient annual opportunity to assess how you have done so far in your life?

Lets do a little report card, and deal with the elephant in the room…

MARRIAGE! - I have failed, I had planned in my brain to be settled down with someone by 28…looking to be married by 30. I am now at least 4 years out now. That is shocking, if I were to grade this, it would most definitely be a D or an E. Basically I need to resit everything for this one.

JOB – Sure, I am not as far along in this either, but at least I am now in a field which I want to develop in. I have a 2 year plan for this new role, hoping to establish myself as king of Innovation in the UK. Actually that part of it might take a bit longer than 2 years. But grading wise, I would say C+ or Maybe B- on a good day. If I was to compare myself to my friends, it would drop down a couple of notches, but if life has taught me anything, it is that cheese is god’s gift to us, and that comparing yourself to others will only result in unhappiness.

FRIENDS – Yeah, they’re alright. What? There isn’t much to add there. B+ / A- with that.

FAMILY – Pretty much ditto above, I am trying to be as supportive as I can, if I was to grade it, B+ I reckon. I snapped at my mum on the phone today, gonna have to apologise about that.

HEALTH – Well I am almost the skinniest I have been since 1999 which is ok, but I could still do with losing a stone I reckon. But I will be coming up to my 2 year anniversary of gym going. There are

MONEY – Yeah, we could all do with more, but would that make us cheerier? Yes, yes it would. I wish I had more cash! At least I am saving properly at the moment. Hopefully a frugal Christmas will enable me to take some time off for a holiday. Firmly in the C camp.

Why am I writing this? Well I thought about my first ever report card at secondary school. Of all the subjects, for both effort and attainment, I got A* (hark at me) apart from Religious Studies. In this I got an A* for attainment, and a C for effort.  Now as any reader of the blog will attest, I am not exactly the world’s biggest fan of religion, but I do respect it. I remember thinking at the time (and I still do to a certain extent) How can I be good enough for an A* in attainment, and not in effort. What more could they want from me? Now Mrs Franks had a weird eye, you couldn’t tell if she was looking at you, or someone else, but I couldn’t understand why she had given me such a poor effort grade. I mean I didn’t act up in class, I engaged, and was interested in learning about different religions. Then I realised, actually what she had taught me was that some people you just can’t please. Especially if they have a boss-eye. I can’t really please myself, because we are always our own harshest critics (apart from Mrs Franks in this case). I doubt I will ever be rich enough, or healthy enough, or happy with my job … enough (??) It is just the way of things. What I would be better off doing is continuing to make little changes that I can, and bugger the rest. The grades and all that shite, none of it matters, so come Thursday, when no doubt I will be a bit glum, it is just a passing moment. And then come Friday, when I have all my chums around me, and Absinthe, things won’t be that bad. Life is just a series of these moments. Some good, some crap, and we bob along like rubber ducks on the waves.

- Anand