This weekend, on the Sunday to be precise, my parents will have been married for 38 years.

38 years! More than half their lives have been spent together. They have seen their 2 children grow up, one of them get married and give them a grandchild, and the other one, well that is me.

In 1973 they got married, and my dad tells the story as follows. Now I may make the odd omissions, but this is how the story goes.

My dad was travelling down to Tanzania with an uncle of his. I can’t recall why they were going down there, maybe it was all a ruse to make my dad meet my mum. Whilst they had stopped in Dar Es Salaam, they were recommended a Brahmin families home where they could refresh themselves. Apparently they sat in their living room, my mum came in to serve them all tea, and then left. After a while, my dad and his uncle left. As they were walking away, my dad’s uncle turned to him and said, ‘So, what do you think of that girl?’ My dad, observant like a hawk, replied, ‘What girl?’ ‘The girl who served us tea?’ My dad said he didn’t recall her so they went back to the house. He was cajoled into a room to talk to her, whilst the family sat in the other room. The questions went along the lines of this: Do you like the Cinema? My mum asked, my dad said no…even though he used to bunk off to go to the cinema he loved it so much! Then she asked if he liked reading. He said no, he doesn’t, that was the truth. Then she asked if he liked the Beatles, I think he said yes. That was it. He walked through the doors to the waiting family, and in a miracle of understatement, he just gave a thumbs up.

11 days later, my dad married my mum, and the rest is 38 years of history.

It hasn’t been plain sailing, life generally isn’t. And really, would anyone want a life of non-incidence? Yet through my dad’s chequered medical history, my mother has been his lighthouse. Guiding him through and being there for him. I sometimes think about the sadness we have in our lives, and how they define us more than any joy. I know for a fact that my dad loves my mum more than anything else on this planet. It is a morbid thought, but I have always thought that if my dad goes first, my mum will survive, it will be the loss of something indescribable, but she is so resilient. My dad on the other hand, if my mum goes first, he would collapse like a house cards. Why? Because she is everything to him. She is the reason he wakes up, I honestly believe that. 

So congratulations to my mum and dad. I hope I can find someone who I can spend 38 years of my life with. Maybe it is seeing what they have is one of the reasons I am not rushing into the same decision, I want it to be a one time bet like it was for my mum and dad.

- Anand